Unpacking the Couch: What is This Thing We Call “Therapy”?
You want to see a change in your life, but you don’t know where to begin. You notice unwanted symptoms affecting your everyday functioning, and you don’t understand where they’re coming from. We constantly think about changing ourselves for the better. New Year’s resolutions are made and lost within a month. A week goes by, and even though we said we'd be more patient with a coworker, we still find ourselves reacting the same way. Perhaps we want to take on a new task, but soon feel that same overwhelming feeling that causes us to quit every time reemerges. We think about the change, but implementing it is the hard part.
That’s where therapy comes in. Whether you are a seasoned client or a newbie trying therapy for the first time, you may often wonder, what is therapy? How does it work?
We get it. It’s normal to think that therapy can feel a bit intimidating or overwhelming - especially when your life may already feel overwhelming. We aim to meet you where you are in order for you to grow. Therapy shouldn’t be someplace you show up for an hour, talk, and leave with no change happening. Therapy can allow you to find out new revelations about yourself: Making sense of the trauma you faced, trying new techniques to calm your anxiety, or finding that your symptoms can be managed.
Therapy is about becoming aware and talking it through. It’s about exploring what lies beneath the surface to make sense of even the most routine moments.
Processing what we've endured helps bring our awareness to light, revealing the sense hidden within the “nonsense”.
Therapy begins with the relationship. Think about it—you want to feel safe and comfortable with someone, especially when you may end up sharing the most intimate details of your life with them. Maybe you’ve written a long journal entry or vented to a friend and felt lighter after. That same kind of emotional release, paired with intentional guidance, can happen in therapy - only with tools to help you go further. Therapy is a space where you can make sense of the past, understand yourself now, and create hope for the future. By exploring ourselves and who we are, we are able to gain a deeper understanding of where our actions and behaviors are coming from.
Therapy is collaborative
The therapist and the client must be in sync and work towards whatever the specific goal may be. You are the expert in the room. Yes, you read that right! As much as we may wish, therapists do not have the answers to everything - especially not in your life. As a client, you get to decide where you want the session to lead you, how deep you want to go, and how much change you want to implement in your life.
Therapy is a process that is often thought of in stages. As you may well know, change does not happen overnight. The first stage is unawareness. Some may even think of it as ignorant bliss. “Nothing is wrong with me!” feels easier than facing what actually hurts. But eventually, something changes for you. Maybe it’s burnout, a relationship issue, or just a nagging sense that life isn’t working the way it used to. You may begin to contemplate the idea of change. With contemplation begins preparing for that change we want to see in our lives. Once you feel ready, you allow yourself to take action. You start showing up for yourself - actually taking the steps to make your life better.
Relapse can happen. Old habits creep in, life throws curveballs, and you might stumble. But here’s the key: relapse isn’t failure. It’s part of the process.
It’s where the real growth happens - through self-forgiveness, reflection, and resilience.
The fundamentals of therapy are finding ways that we can sustainably alter the things in our lives that we want changed. It’s about discovering different strategies to help calm the overwhelm or finding a new method that can shift your negative thinking patterns. You can take back your life and create long-term, withstanding goals that actually work.
Therapy isn’t meant to last forever—it’s meant to prepare you for what comes after. It’s the first step toward the life you’re building.
This isn’t a trend or fad; this is a long-lasting change. We’re not here for a “quick fix”; we're here to understand what is happening at your core. How much you change is up to you.
The first step? Just showing up.
About the author:
Hannah Dwyer is a clinical mental health counseling intern at Tall Oaks Counseling, LLC in Connecticut, who is passionate about helping teens and adults navigate trauma, anxiety, and depression. She strives to meet her clients where they are in their healing journeys. The compassion she exudes is complemented by her down-to-earth demeanor, creating a space for those she works with to truly heal and find meaning in their lives.
Disclaimer: This is in no way a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. Reading this blog or responding to it does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. If you are looking for a local mental health professional feel free to use the contact tab to request an appointment or search Therapy Den for local therapists in your area. If this is a mental health emergency and you need immediate assistance please call 911 or your local crisis line to speak to a mental health professional.